Ever hear someone say that most of us are in therapy because of the people in our lives that aren’t in therapy…

I’ll take that a step further…

We’re here because we don’t want to be that person to others.

Story time…

A couple of months ago I had someone reach out to me to ask me some very personal questions…

My responses weren’t to her liking and she went low. She went after my mental health & attacked my very personal decision to work hard on myself through therapy (over the past 2 1/2 years). Name calling & saying things like “Glad you are in counseling because clearly you need it…”

Pretty judgmental and uneducated comments.

And the worst part, she is the business development manager for a “mental toughness” business and podcast where they focus their offerings, material and interviews around mental health.

Ignorant? Absolutely.

Irresponsible? I think so.

Uneducated about therapy in her own life? Yes.

Unhinged? perhaps.

Angry about her current life cirsumstance she finds herself in and drowning in her own need to seek therapy & support? 100% yes.

And, because I have done my work and continue to, I have no desire to share specifics or names about which podcast it is & it’s “business development team” members.

A great reminder to be discerning about what you feed yourself through podcasts, books, all the things you let into that precious space between your ears.

Know your source.

And above all else (a reminder from a post I shared soon after the interaction)…

don’t ever let someone weaponize your therapy & mental health.

especially if you were vulnerable and transparent enough with them to share.

maybe you just want to feel better. maybe there is something that is no longer serving you that you would like to move on from.

whatever the reason, it is yours and yours alone to determine your why.

therapy is a space for self-inquiry, self-reflection, self-regulation and a space to always find a way to do better. to take accountability.

in your own life and in the lives of others.

co-regulation.

don’t let someone ever take that opportunity of growth away from you by mocking the work you’re doing or your deep dive for more joy in your life.

Just imagine how much kinder this world would be if people took a frequent inventory (aka, therapy) of themselves…

*most likely some of the harm we seek to find healing from is theirs…

I see you.

Keep moving forward.

They don’t boo nobodies. 😉

And remember…

Your light is gonna irritate a lot of unhealed people.

all are welcome here…

just some slices of my tiny piece of this messy & beautiful life through experiences, strength, hopes, humble opinions, poems, pics, and maybe a little humor here and there. part fiction, part real-life & part both. take what lands for you and leave what doesn’t ✌🏼

blurred lines

addiction is the devil on earth.

Unconditional love.

unconditional love and life with an addict is hard.

we try to shelter those we love from pain and from shame.

we try to help those we love to make better choices.

because its a way

to protect you from yourself.

unconditional love often looks like enabling.

the lines get so blurred.

maybe unconditional love is enabling.

i love you unconditionally.

i know every single terrible, awful thing you have done.

and yet, I still love you despite your inability to love me back.

despite your inability to love yourself.

i love you despite everything.

i love you unconditionally.

unconditional love allows a lot.

but there are lines.

i will not allow you to lie to me or manipulate me or abuse me.

because we’ve done that for far too long already.

at this point, I need to love you from afar.

because your addictions are strong.

because you don’t know how to tell the truth.

because your addictions are all-encompassing.

your addictions have consumed you.

and, one wrong move and your addictions will consume me too.

because you see – my addiction is trying to protect you, to love you.

and that is why I have no choice but to walk away.

it’s the one single thing I don’t know how to do.

i cut pieces of myself out to fill holes in you.

time and time again.

i don’t know how to walk away from you.

it’s that simple and that complicated all at once.

it’s why i tried to protect you for so long.

it’s why i made questionable choices to keep showing up for you.

it’s why I send you a meal the day after you’ve been high all night & lied to me

because I need to know you’ve eaten

and for you to know you’re loved.

it’s why I try to protect you from ever feeling shame.

it’s why I let you back into my life only for you to walk out again and blame me for being the horrible person.

it’s why now, I still cry.

walking away is hard.

time and time again you have said, ‘It would be different with you here.’

i’m not that powerful.

if I were, we wouldn’t be here.

walking away from you is hard.

it looks different for everyone.

sometimes it’s baby steps in the right direction.

sometimes it’s crawling away.

i can’t save you.

i’ve tried at the cost of my self worth.

i will love you forever.

forever.

hopefully, i’ll see you on the other side.

maybe then we will get it right.